Oh boy... Since we're going to get into it and I'm going to look like the back woods shade tree cretin.....You engine experts may want to look away now.
I made a wooden valve lapping adapter tool that looks like this:
I put double back sticky tape on the big end and then stick the valve tulip to that and then use my cordless electric drill chucked up on the other end of the wooden dowel to spin the whole thing. Looks like this:
The drill turns the dowel, and the tape (which is stuck to the valve tulip) spins the valve. It's essentially the same process as using the suction cup stick, but I do it with my drill:
So why do I do it that way?
1) I think the tape sticks better to the valve head than the rubber suction cups. Eventually the tape will pull off the valve and you'll have to refresh the tape but I just keep putting a fresh square on top of the piece that just pulled off the valve. Eventually when I've got a whole bunch of layers built up, I'll pull them all off the tool and start fresh, but I think the multiple layers provide a small amount of compliance to the adhesive joint that actually makes the joint more robust and tolerant to slight misalignment.
2) Speaking of misalignment... The wooden dowel will bend and accommodate misalignment while you're spinning the assembly. I wouldn't want to use a metal rod there. The wood's flexibility helps.
3) Since I'm PUSHING the valve into the head instead of pulling it (with the plastic tubing), I can not only generate more force, but I can also get a better feel for how much pressure I'm applying. Easier to modulate and control the pressure.
So yes... The professionals would run me out of town for my ridiculous shop built tool and procedure, but that's what I do. The rest of my procedure is pretty much the same as Charlies.
Using the drill, I spin maybe twenty times in one direction, pulling the valve up every two or three rotations. Then I reverse direction and do the same thing spinning the other way. After doing that a couple times, I pull the valve up, clean off the grinding compound, decide if I need more and then repeat if necessary. Checking with sharpie (dry) every now and then to see how things look. I've got the machinist’s blue dykem too, but sharpie is sitting right there and is easier on these small parts.
A 15 second video would probably explain things a whole lot easier, but that's way above my pay grade.
