wow.. you got a serious problem... my friend had that problem and the only thing that fixed it was he had to drive his car in a lake..
but be careful man.. if you got a CAI you might hydrolock... SRI you'll be fine. just drive it straight in.
EDIT: actually.. i heard a slice of bologna will do the trick nicely too. leave that baby on there for a good day in the hot sun and that bird poop will come right off
along with your paint... so only do that if youre desperate..
What You Will Need:
3.Couple hours at the gym
Step 1: Wet paper towel
Step 2: Apply wet paper towel to the "bird droppings"
Step 3: Apply some power on the spot(this is where the couple hours at the gym kicks in) , along with circular motions of the hand in the spot where the "bird dropping" are
Step 4: Take dry paper towel and rub it around the spot
Step 5: Douple check the spot to make sure all residue is off!
Step 6: Enjoy your brand new looking car and feel confident for the next time an incident like this happens